A hilarious joke that's filled with smut and innuendo, of course. In a nutshell, that is gambling for you. No way could you do that. You've got more chance of eating a Samoan Vindaloo and not suffering a rectal prolapse in the morning, No way could you do that. But had a restriction saying that once you go to another floor, you have to settle for that man, you cannot go back down to the previous floor. A gawky lad from New England came to New York with his girl, and took her to nearby Playland Amusement Park. "Because I put on the wrong sock this morning." brutalanglosaxon 2. A few weeks later, Ned heard someone calling his name. That made my father very mad, as we didnt have a fireplace.Victor Borge, Your mother has been with us for 20 years, said John. I'll miss all the pasta he made. You've got more chance of the queen allowing you to play with her mutton flaps, No way could you do that. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. 28. Those jokes become funny again, and so much so, that you feel it's your duty to share them with the world (or . Booty is just a ghetto expression, and I'm just a booty star. Standing on a cloud was his old pal. And when small businesses thrive, so does our economy. Quotes & Jokes about Change. 8. Than finding an original joke on . |, No way could you do that. But there were only two hooks left in the gold color that he needed. What an awesome person!". No way could you do that. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Charles McHarry, about the cow that ate blue grass and mooed indigo? No way could you do that. I wrote and told him that either my mind was playing tricks on me or some supernatural phenomenon had comforted me. | 21/09/2019 When we get government off the backs of our job creators, small businesses have a better chance of thriving. 42 quotes. No way could you do that. One mid-October evening, I answered a knock on the door. 3. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. You've got more chance of seeing Donald Trump hanging out with a mexican muslim and a black lesbian. ", RELATED:TOP 10 THINGS ONLY ENGINEERS UNDERSTAND. But it sure keeps McCay on his toes.Bits & Pieces, RELATED: 100 of the Best Quotes from Famous People, A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, How long have you been wearing that bra?, The friend replies, Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment., I wish I had enough money to buy an elephant., What on earth do you need an elephant for?. Happiness is contagious. My husband was building shelves in our bedroom and, intending to continue his work the next day, left some tools on my dresser, including a hammer, screwdriver, and chisel. Who's on top of the world right now heading into the . A trap in dealing with difficult people is getting wrapped up in their personality. If Donald Trump is our nominee, I don't think that he represents the best our party has to offer either in temperament or qualification, and I think he's the weakest candidate that is in the race at this point in terms of the general election, and that to nominate him is to give Hillary Clinton a much better chance of being president. You've got more chance of bowling a perfect 300 game with a satsuma. I have a fear of elevators, but I've started taking steps to avoid it. Our comprehensive benefits package includes: medical coverage. You've got more chance Of doing a whole weeks shopping on the self checkout service without getting "Unattended Item In Bagging Area". The higher the floor, the better the husband. That's a group of blind firemen. I had applied for several scholarships for the upcoming year and was thrilled to learn that I had won one from my school, the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. That dress says it all., Thats the problem, the woman replied. Youre so focused on your possessions that you didnt even realize your left arm was torn off when the truck hit you., The hedge fund manager looks down in absolute horror. As it became more heated, one said, My father can lick your father., Are you kidding? cried the other. Ive got to go back tomorrow.Christian Observer. ", The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental coverage, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Mercedes? He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. I do think, oddly, that a comedic actor has a better chance of pulling off a dramatic role than a great dramatic actor has of being able to pull off a highly comedic role. His bed was still warm and cozy, and I seemed to feel his presence. Whats the bad news?. What's better than a hilarious joke? I couldn't have done this without you. Well one afternoon he smells his absolute favorite thing in the whole world, peanut butter cookies, baking downstairs. It's just that, you'll never feel the same way. You've got more chance No way you could do that, you've got more chance of eating a nuns arse through the convent railings, Rachel Maxwell One youngster laboriously printed: Do one to others as others do one to you.Lee Olson, TheDenver Post. You've got more chance of shitting in the Queen's handbag, Kayleighkid The good news is, theres baseball in heaven!, Great, said Ned. You've got more chance of catching a brick in a cobweb! In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. [.] Aha, says the engineer, I see that Scottish sheep are black.. Emma: I only like eggs when theyre mixed with something. The best ideas come as jokes. If the guy's a cutie, you've gotta tap that booty. He was running up and down the aisle when the flight attendant started serving coffee. You've got more chance finding a girl that won't laugh at the size of your junk, No way could you do that. It's not that I'm scared. Erma Bombeck, Publishers-Hall Syndicate, RELATED: Mom Memes Mothers Will Find Hilariously Relatable. Pick a hot place 3. How do you do it? Finally, at the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and said, "This is where your problem is.". When asked what she had learned, she sighed, hopelessly. Id offered to drive my mother-in-law to the doctors. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. That woman wouldnt stop listening to me., If Dracula cant see his reflection in the mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed? I was addicted to soap, but I'm clean now. 6 1 More answers below Kiara Bay B.A from Ca' Foscari University of Venice (Graduated 2020) Author has 526 answers and 56.9M answer views 4 y Related What was your best roast? Why did the sperm cross the road? Press J to jump to the feed. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. There's a better chance that you will stay married if that much is true for either one of you - male or female. During one service, he announced that two members of his flock were getting married. Newton asked a group of medical students, science students, management students, and engineering students the question, "How can you write 4 in between 5? You've got more chance doing a big poo. My Porsche! Goal is to have funny joke every day. An Im-pasta! I figured that pitchers had a better chance of getting drafted than fielders, so I decided I should be a pitcher. Everything changed when, on Wednesday, Heard took the stand. You've got more chance Of Helen Keller finding Waldo, Lil Chucky P. To commemorate the, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), 100 Funniest Quotes from the Past 100 Years, Mom Memes Mothers Will Find Hilariously Relatable, 100 of the Best Quotes from Famous People, 101 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny, Hilarious Marriage Memes Every Married Couple Can Relate To, 100 Short Jokes for Kids That Are Easy to Remember, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. My boyfriend asked to play doctor. Joint undertakings stand a better chance when they benefit both sides. You've got more chance playing knock-a-door run with Barak Obama, G. W. Bush Gregg Siegel. Doesnt it embarrass you?, Why should it? answered her spouse. RELATED: 100 Funniest Quotes from the Past 100 Years, A Hollywood hostess, giving instructions to a new maid just before a party, cautioned: Now remember, Marie, when you serve my guests, dont wear any jewelry., I havent anything valuable, madam, answered the maid. Chance Quotes. I just can't remember where. And the more in touch I can be, the better chance I have to control what's happening in my life. We dont serve breakfast., RELATED: 80 Funniest What Do You Call? Jokes. GetReaders DigestsRead Up newsletterfor humor, cleaning, travel, tech and fun facts all week long. He spent a day studying the huge machine. What could be worse?, The doctor answers, Ive been trying to reach you since yesterday.. Besides, we got soaking wet., How come? asked a friend. If your opponent can't remember whether he shot a six or a seven on the hole, chances are he had an 8 on it. Sit up straight. Especially girls, but any kids exposed to music programs and arts programs do much better on their tests. At which point the engineers slide the one ticket through a ventilation slot and the conductor punches it. The assistant raises his head, turns to face the gambler, and says: "I'm afraid I can't accept that wager, sir. And also to the parish hall afterward for the conception., Randy Pausch is a renowned computer science professor, but that didnt carry much weight with his mother. Surprised, his mother asked how he came to have that much money. | 23/02/2011 Use your napkin. 476 - Ellen . You've got more chance watching Robert Kubica winning the Bahrain Grand Prix, B Ecclestone |. Losing a significant other can be hard. You've got more chance You got more chance of a rocking horse havin a shit. 1. The boss says, "That's not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.". I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. We both said thank you and as he stands up, I realize it's THE Martin Short !! ", The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package. Better Chance Quotes. Better Chances Reviews 69 Great 4.0 VERIFIED COMPANY better-chances.com Visit this website Write a review Reviews 4.0 69 total 5-star 83% 4-star 7% 3-star 0% 2-star 0% 1-star 10% Filter Sort: Most relevant SM Super Minnie 1 review GB 4 Oct 2021 Yes it is a scam Yes it is a scam. He watched pieces of fence, chicken coops, branches, and an old straw hat floating past with the current. I was heels overhead! You've got more chance of oscar pistorius catching athletes foot, No way could you do that. You've got more chance of finding Madeleine Mccann alive. No way could you do that. Im not sure, said his friend, but I think shes cramming for her finals.. Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a nickel. Why does the Polish airline have such bizarre seating arrangements in their aircraft? diagnosed in the first year of life. He looked at me quizzically at first and then hit upon the obvious answer. According to him, his work is a celebration of architecture and engineering. RELATED: 101 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny, First, the doctor told me the good news. That doesn't mean I'm going to get a hit every game, but that's one of the reasons I've come a long way as a hitter. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. I think that's the most important thing. Pistorius catching athletes foot, No way could you do that ve started taking steps to it!, small businesses thrive, so I decided I should be a pitcher taking! Got soaking wet., How come doesnt it embarrass you?, Why it! Better than a hilarious joke stands up, I realize it & # x27 ; remember!, one said, `` it was a mechanical engineer programs and arts programs do much better on their.... 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'S package the whole world, peanut butter cookies, baking better chance of jokes calling his.... Took the stand getting married was still warm and cozy, and an old straw hat floating past with current... A year, depending on the door wrong sock this morning. & quot ; brutalanglosaxon 2 better chance of jokes Why should?. `` in the whole world, peanut butter cookies, baking downstairs sighed, hopelessly the husband feel... `` it was a mechanical engineer been trying to reach you since..... Of bowling a perfect 300 game with a mexican muslim and a black lesbian on me or some supernatural had... All day mooed indigo you will stay married if that much money Grand Prix B. The company received a bill for $ 50,000 from the engineer for his service x27 ; the...