A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. What if Tottenham was a Game Thrones house?Their motto would be False hope is better than no hope.. He refuses to look at them. How did Harry Kane pay his tributes to the Queen?By giving 90 minutes of silence against Sporting CP. A: A mosquito stops sucking. SW1882 Ltd - Suite 8 Homes House, 253 Cowbridge Road West, Cardiff, Wales, CF5 5TD Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. That 2008 League Cup is taking up a lot room in Tottenhams.#TheApprentice, James Sharpe (@TheSharpeEnd) October 11, 2017. When post for another football club, London Hotspur, was mistakenly delivered to North London the club changed their name to Tottenham Hotspur. Q: What does a Spurs fan do when his team has won the Champions League? The north Londoners cameclose to silverware again in 2019, when they reached the Champions League final in Madrid against Premier League rivals Liverpool, but ultimately lost 2-0. You can ask questions concerning the past, present, or future, whatever you want to know, but you only get one question per person for the sake of time.The Manchester United supporter pushes the other two aside and exclaims, God! A: A good start! If you click the basket without any items having been added, a pop-up message on the site will show up. Tottenham's hunt for silverware has been well-documented during the last decade as the club seeks to become a regular trophy contender in England and Europe. Diego Maradona decides to come out of retirement and play for West Ham.He goes into the changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum. "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist. No sooner had Tottenham announced the opening of their brand spanking new megastore, Arsenal fans were on them. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Liverpool supporters, and I'm a Liverpool fan, too!" A: The bucket. English League Cup runner-up. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" Arsenal currently sit above seventh-placed Spurs in the Premier League table on goal difference, though Tottenham do have a game in hand over Mikel Arteta's men. A: He turns off the PlayStation. Juande Ramos . Whats the difference between Liz Truss and Tottenham Hotspur?Liz Truss has no sons. For now, they remain a figure of fun to some, with Dulux opting to indulge in some ill-advised banter with fans on social media after agreeing to become an official supplier to the north London giants. A: Because all the cups are in Manchester. A: Because they never have any points. Learn how your comment data is processed. Arsenal 2-0 Everton LIVE: Martinelli doubles lead after Gueye howler, Liverpool 0-0 Wolves LIVE: Elliott misses header from close range as Reds push for opener, Neville names potential successor to De Gea at Man United and makes huge claim about role, Sheffield United v Tottenham LIVE: Blades hit with sickness bug but eye FA Cup upset, Man United v West Ham LIVE: Carabao Cup champions host old boss Moyes in FA Cup tie, Aubameyang sends 270,000 Lamborghini Aventador to Cannes for stunning hologram wrap, 'Liverpool will be back', says Mane, who explains why Klopp is 'definitely the right man', Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), the opening of their brand spanking new megastore, potentially facing further delays until 2019, Completely cashless system which only accepts payments via bank cards or mobile pay, 100-seat auditorium area with a 36-screen video wall to host events, Video screens to show fans 3D visuals of potential shirt printings, PS4 consoles loaded with FIFA 19 to keep children entertained. Of course, this wasn't the. Q: What do you say to a Tottenham Hotspur supporter with a good looking bird on his arm? "Because I'm not an Arsenal fan." Tottenham's last trophy was the 2008 Carling Cup, when they beat Chelsea 2-1 in the final at Wembley. We know its important but its only Spurs. Ten Hag almost forgets to collect the Carabao Cup trophy (0:17) Manchester United manager Erik ten Hag is reminded by reporters to bring the Carabao Cup with him at the end of his press conference. A. A: The accused. Photo by Chris Brunskill/Fantasista/Getty Images. Q: What do you call 100 Tottenham Hotspur supporters at the bottom of a cliff? "Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Football League Champions: 1950/1951, 1960/1961, The FA Cup Winners: 1900/1901, 1920/1921, 1960/1961, 1961/1962, 1966/1967, 1980/1981, 1981/1982, 1990/1991, Football League Cup Winners: 1970/1971, 1972/1973, 1998/1999, 2007/2008, European Cup-Winners Cup Winners: 1962/1963, Football League Division Two Champions: 1919/1920, 1949/1950, FA Charity Shield Winners: 1920/1921, 1951/1952, 1961/1962, 1962/1963, 1967/1968 (joint), 1981/1982 (joint), 1991/1992 (joint), London League Premier Division Champions: 1902/1903, Football League South 'C' Division Champions: 1939/1940, Football League South Champions: 1943/1944, 1944/1945, Southern District Charity Cup Winners: 1901/1902, 1904/1905 (joint), 1906/1907, Dewar Shield Winners: 1901/1902, 1933/1934, London Challenge Cup Winners: 1910/1911, 1928/1929, Anglo-Italian League Cup-Winners Cup Winners: 1971/1972, Norwich Hospital Charity Cup Winners: 1946/1947, 1949/1950 (joint), Ipswich Hospital Charity Cup Winners: 1951/1952 (joint), Costa Del Sol Tournament Winners: 1965, 1966, Sun International Challenge Trophy (Swaziland) Winners: 1983, Vodacom Challenge (South Africa) Winners: 2007, Feyenoord Jubileum Tournament (Holland) Winners: 2008, Barclays Asia Trophy (China) Winners: 2009. A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Champions League final on television. A: So blind people could laugh at them too! Alan Sugar just slaggedoff West Ham to Karen Brady on the Apprentice. They then beat North London rivals Arsenalin the semifinals. Spurs have won nothing in 10 years, Aston316 (@theaston316) October 11, 2017. A: Because Tottenham supporters have started to make them up themselves. What does an Arsenal fan do when he sees a blue bird flying?Shoots it and then gives it to a Spurs Fan. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. Terry Venables was in charge and chose Gary Lineker to startfor Spurs up front, but the winner came via an own-goal as Des Walker put the ball in his own net. 98/99. I'll give you a lift!" They might actually be one of the few clubs in the Prem owned by a British entity. Watch popular content from the following creators: .(@ozz.ftbl), Depressed Arsenal Fan. What trophies have Tottenham won? Spurs are unlikely to win the Premier League title this season, but the North London club are certainly major contenders for the top four. When the female team held back on spending their budget on furniture and accessories, Sugar quipped: You didnt spend enough money, I think West Hams trophy room has got more in it. People dont say they have never won a trophy it is more they have had teams in recent years able to win a trophy and failed to do so. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. When is Tottenham going to win a trophy? She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Meanwhile Arsenal have scooped eight trophies in that time having won the FA Cup and Community Shield four times each. FA Cup Winner. The teacher is now angry. 'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. Alan Sugar having a pop about West Ham's trophy cabinet! Why do ducks fly over White Hart Lane upside down? He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" English League Cup winner. Why dont they drink tea at White Hart Lane?Because all the cups are in Manchester. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. Jonathan Woodgate then netted three minutes into extra-time after converting a free-kick taken by Jermaine Jenas that clinched the victory. Spurs drew 1-1 at the Emirates before the decisive second leg, a 5-1 victory which sent them through 6-2 on aggregate. Privacy Policy. A: So Tottenham supporters can get laid too. Trophy No. Ive let you down Ive let you down.Dont be stupid Diego, you got a draw against Spurs all by yourself. After Spurs revealed that they were entering into another partnership, it did not take long for a supporters to start making suggestions about where paint cans could be stored. What do you call a Tottenham Hotspur supporter who scores high on IQ tests?A cheat. This was enough to send the West Ham fans into a furore as they tried to fire back at Sugar and question Tottenhams trophy success in return. ", The jokes continued to flow. Alvaro Rodriguez: Have Madrid unearthed their own Haaland. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Tottenham Hotspur supporter." Well, were having trouble getting motivated for this game. In the FA Cup, Spurs have been wildly successful when reaching the final. The last league title goes all the way back to 1961, when the top five was rounded out by Sheffield Wednesday, Wolverhampton Wanderers, Burnley, and Everton. Three elderly football enthusiasts enter a church. 62/63. ", Another messaged: "This is such a good marketing technique to get more clicks on their website. Tottenham have their own customized version of the phrase to bottle. To Spurs a game or have something Spursed is equivalent to bottling something. Dulux responded by posting a fake advertisement for an "unused trophy cabinet". The Gunners have left supporters in shock for mocking their North London rivals over their lack of silverware through their online shop. ARSENAL have sent social media into meltdown after brutally trolling Tottenham's 'empty trophy cabinet' on their official store website. Tottenham won an FA. What did the guy do when a kinky girl asked him to humiliate her?He bought her a Tottenham shirt. Theyre shit and we cant be bothered.Maradona looks at them and says Well I know Im a bit fat and old, but I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down the pub. So Maradona goes out to play Spurs by himself and the rest of the West Ham team go off for a few beers.After a few pints, they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the TV on. You wont get hit unless the bottles got your name on it., Thats just what Im worried about, said the fan,my names Johnny Walker.. Most recently, Spurs fell to Manchester City in the 2021final, falling 1-0 to a goal by defender Aymeric Laporte. I went shopping the first time I went to London.' Unleash your creativity & share you story! Spurs have won silverware in the past, but it has been some time. Most recently, Spurs fell to Manchester City in the . Immediately the Jack Russell canine jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, not once more.". , to which God replied, In ten years. The disappointed admirer sulks away, exclaiming, Thats a shame; Ill probably be dead by then.The Arsenal fan and his walking cane push the first fan to the side as he sulks. (@riftyarsenal), Dom(@thfcdom), Footy (@.footyvids0), afc_venji(@afc_venji), everton fan(@everton_content), jake_1726(@jake_1726), (@ftbl.clips100), Brian (@papichulobrian2), CR7 . Arsenal beating Everton to Gabriel proving vital, Liverpool need midfielders - but they need a new Van Dijk too, Five things Xavi must do to avoid another Barca crisis. A: You paint Red Devils on his dick and he won't beat it for 4 years! I love it, this from the official website. Keep up to date with all the latest Tottenham news and opinion by following SpursWebs Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts. Alasdair (@Ally140992) October 11, 2017, As much as West Hams trophy room Lord Sugar, well same amount as spurs you dopey left wing mug. It marked the fourth time that Tottenham were crowned League Cup winners. A person is sitting in a pub along with his Jack Russell canine on Tuesday evening. Still, modern silverware has eluded them as the club continues to forage for a major title. ? , Jon Hall (@castlefieldjon) October 11, 2017, Funny how a Tottenham man sugar cusses a west ham girl Brady on West Hams lack of trophies. West Ham Place (@WestHamPlace) October 11, 2017. Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Tottenham Hotspur Fan. Johnny comes to the front of the class. A: Kick his sister in the mouth Q: What do I have in common with Tottenham? Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and a Spurs striker? A: The baby will stop whining after awhile. Q: What do you call a dead Tottenham Fan in a closet? Q: What's the difference between onions and a Tottenham supporter? Gary Lineker has made a joke about Tottenham Hotspur on Twitter after hearing the news on Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Q: What do you call an Tottenham Hotspur fan that does well on an IQ test? So then, why the hell does everyone say Spurs have never won a trophy when they've clearly had. Why did the Spurs have been forced to rename their ground White Lane?Because their Hart was surgically removed when Berbatov and Keane were sold. A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions. Q: Why do Tottenham fans suck at geometry? ", Meanwhile one simply stated: "Quality from the Arsenal website.". West Ham fans have taken to Twitter to bemoan the fact that Lord Alan Sugar made a joke about them during last nights edition of The Apprentice. A: Intelligent Tottenham supporters. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Despite the goalscoring prowess of striker Harry Kane, who has won two Premier League Golden Boots, he has yet to lift a trophy with Tottenham. "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. It's career day in primary school where each student talks about what their dad does. A: Shoot the Tottenham Fan. A: I cry when I cut up onions Why did Jos Mourinho got sacked by Spurs?He aint that special. A: Because you can park in the handicap zone! A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. Spurs now need to get positive results on the pitch, win trophies and regularly play in the Champions League. For more information, please see our In the run-up to the final, Spurs topped Middlesbrough, Blackpool, and Manchester City all by 2-0 scorelines. Required fields are marked *. Thanks For Watching! Q: Why are Tottenham Hotspur jokes getting dumb and dumber? What two Tottenham players make a Liverpool goalie?Alli-Son Becker. The Ultimate Trivia Battle! A: They can't string three "Ws" together. A 2-1 comeback win over Rangers saw Spurs lift the trophy - but fans on. With Juande Ramos calling the shots back in 2008, Spurs beat Chelsea asJonathan Woodgate grabbed an extra-time winner to wrap up a 2-1 success, with Dimitar Berbatov's second-half penalty having cancelled out Didier Drogba's opener. The recent voting for the FIFA Football Awards for 2022 has been announced, and we can now reveal who Tottenham Hotspur stars Harry Kane, Hugo Lloris, and Heung-min Son opted for with their ballot.. Each year, football's governing body allows national team captains and managers, as well as leading national media figures to vote in their annual awards to recognise the best players in the men . Mourinho suffers most league defeats in his career, Kane to PSG mooted in Mbappe-Haaland 'chess game', Guardiola matches Mourinho record for CL semi appearances. "That's no reason," she says loudly. Which didn't go down well with his 'advisor' Karren Brady. Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? The winners will be just 90 minutes from Wembley and victory for Paul Heckingbottom's men would see them reach . Why have Spurs announced that they are relaying the pitch at White Hart Lane with sheets of A4?Apparently, they can beat anyone on paper. The stadium of the North London club is one of 54 winners of the 2021 RIBA National Awards, as reported by BBC Sport. Tottenham have announced on their official website that Tottenham Hotspur Stadium has been named among the winners of the Royal Institute of British Architects (RIBA) National Awards 2021. What do you call a dead Tottenham Fan in a closet?Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. Cookie Notice ARSENAL have sent social media into meltdown after brutally trolling Tottenham's 'empty trophy cabinet' on their official store website. Q: What is the shortest book in the world called? Q: What does a Tottenham Hotspur supporter and a bottle of beer have in common? Understandably, Arsenal fans were quick to comment on the club's jibe as they revelled in the joke. A: Dress her in an Arsenal jersey! I got sent off after 12 minutes!. olympics. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" https://t.co/dXyvsSvC4Q. Why did he say that when the result was announced that Tottenham lost?Because hes a Spurs supporter. A: Nice tattoo In fact, Tottenham has had a number of close calls recently, losing in the EFL Cup final three times since last hoisting the trophy in 2008. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands. "Yes" replies Emmanuel "you should have my details on your computer". Spurs have also come agonizingly close to winning silverware on several other occasions in addition to the league titles and 14 cup wins listed above. The Spurs boss was in a jovial mood as he collected his award despite a . So how long has it been since Tottenham last tasted silverware? Throughout their history Spurs have never ever won a trophy. Have a better joke about Tottenham to mock your mates? So why is there this expectation that they should win a trophy, when they're one of the few clubs to grow on their own and don't have the financial strength that other big clubs have? Gary Lineker calls Tottenham Hotspur 'awful' against Leicester City, 'Head and shoulders the best player': Gary Lineker raves about Tete, was recently offered to Tottenham, Confirmed: Klopp makes Cody Gakpo decision as Liverpool v Wolves lineups emerge, {{#media.media_details}} {{#media.focal_point}}. Q: Why don't they drink tea at White Hart Lane? Love my club. Spurs have gone 13 years without landing major silverware, andhope Jose Mourinho will bring that barren run to a close in 2021with theCarabao Cup final with Manchester City on April 25. West Ham fans have taken to Twitter to bemoan the fact that Lord Alan Sugar made a joke about them during last night's edition of The Apprentice. To see all content on The Sun, please use the Site Map. With Tottenham Hotspur not having gotten their hands on silverware since the 2008 League Cup final, the England captain has . Why did Antonio Conte buy his team all lighters?Because they kept losing all their matches. Q: How do you casterate a Spurs supporter? ", A third added: "We could be battling relegation and I promise I will always find time to laugh at Spurs. Q: What's the difference between Tottenham supporters and mosquitoes? The paint suppliers jokingly responded to number of comments on social media - before hastily deleting the posts. 01/02. There's nothing worth craping on! What does THFC stand for?Tottenham Heading For the Championship. The Arsenal supporter prays to God, When will Arsenal win the Premier League again? , to which God replies, In 20 years. The admirer, like the first, is visibly upset, saying, Thats a shame, Ill probably be dead by then.God then turns his attention to the last man, asking, And what of you, my son? What exactly is your question? Harry Kane has received his fair share of trophy jokes over the years. Former Tottenham striker and Match of the Day presenter Lineker has joked about the news. Q: Why are Tottenham strikers like grizzly bears? document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()). A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd. "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Tottenham Hotspur supporter." They have come close but always seem to fall at the final step. Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for Tottenham Hotspur.' What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Spurs strikers?Clinton can score. The former Tottenham chairman made a clever jibe following a task in which the contestants had to interior decorate a hotel room at . Chelsea were defending champions of the trophy, having beaten Arsenal in the 2007 final. The Lilywhites launched a Premier League title bid in 2015-16 and spent most of the season as frontrunners, but ultimately conceded the league to champions Leicester City. Spurs fans have been made to wait a while since their last trophy, but when was the last time that they enjoyed lifting a piece of silverware? Q: How do you keep a Spurs fan from masterbating? The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. by ", to which God replies, "It's a shame because I'll most likely be dead by then." Recommended: Arsenal Jokes At a local derby between Arsenal and Spurs last season, a spectator suddenly found himself in the thick of dozens of flying bottles. Tottenham announced the opening of what they boasted was the largest club shop in Europe, which teed up these Gooners nicely to mock their bitter north London rivals Jump directly to the content Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. Why should Spurs have some talks with Theresa May?They got out of Europe within 2 months. He takes them before anyone notices.Nails always come in handy. Tottenham have started the season strongly, winning all three of their Premier League games. Spurs finally win a trophy. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.' Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Spurs fan? Harry Kane has received his fair share of trophy jokes over the years. . Let's try and get 350 LIKES?!?! Spursalso lost in the 2015 edition, and in the 2009 final. Because trophies are the simplest marker of success in football. "That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door." . Tottenham won an FA Cup back in 1991, topping Roy Keane and Nottingham Forest in the final 2-1, and also in extra time. Suddenly, the driver saw a Tottenham supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. View the first exclusive images of our new store https://t.co/ui33KbRkO0#COYS pic.twitter.com/o1fESNznJ9, Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) October 22, 2018. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them. Up to $10 000 in daily prizes, Five reasons why Man Utd can win a quadruple , Pepe's best assist? Which didnt go down well with his advisor Karren Brady. The tweets in question have since been deleted. Tottenham last won a major trophy in 2007-08 when they clinched the Football League Cup. It reads: "Your basket is as empty as Tottenham's trophy cabinet.". UEFA Cup Participant. Reckless Driver The . Q: How do you stop a Spurs supporter from beating his wife? Mauricio Pochettino jokes 'finally I got a trophy' as he receives Manager of the Year at London Football Awards. Q: Whats the difference between Tottenham Hotspur and a mosquito? What have Tottenham won??? There is, however, one exception. Spurs say theirs is the largest retail space of any football club in Europe, which set a few Gooners on Twitter up better than Mesut Ozil ever could. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Antonio Conte's side could change that in 2023, with the chance for glory still on offer, in the FA Cup and Champions League. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner, Sporting CP 2, Tottenham Hotspur 0, reads the announcer in his normal, rather sedate, voice.Suddenly the Jack Russell dog jumps up and shouts out, Oh, no, not again.The shocked pub owner says, Thats amazing. Tottenham trophies won: When did Spurs last lift silverware. English League Cup winner. Have something to tell us about this article? The soccer outcomes are developing on the tv within the nook, "Sporting CP 2, Tottenham Hotspur 0," reads the announcer in his regular, reasonably sedate, voice. 99/00. How do you know Antonio Conte must have hurt his leg whilst at Tottenham Hotspur?He is always relying on Son and Kane. English Supercup Winner. 90/91. View our online Press Pack. Tottenham could sign four PSG stars as owners 'plan to clear out over 100m in wages' Paris Saint-Germain are reportedly hoping to cut their wage bill by selling a number of high earners at the . It said it was to weak. Another saw Dulux asked if the firm's iconic Old English Sheepdog mascot could play at centre-back, with the response offered: "He might do a better job.". The. However, for Mourinho the "half" came in April when Mourinho was fired by Spurs less than a week before they . 58 Votes if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. The policeman said to himself I cant let his family see him like this, so before calling them, he took the Spurs shirt off. Though Mauricio Pochettino's Tottenham side was lauded as one of the strongest Premier League sides in recent years, they failed to win any silverware during the Argentine's five years at the club. A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while! The Blades entertain Tottenham this evening in the FA Cup fifth round. The stadium is the biggest club ground in London and is a marvel to behold. A pause, and a smile. Tottenham's partnership with Dulux has not got off to the best of starts, with the paint company mocking the Premier League club over their empty trophy cabinet within minutes of a deal being announced. With it, theysecured UEFA Cup qualification for the next season something that they had failed to do through their Premier League campaignas they finished 11th in the table. It marked the fourth time that Tottenham were crowned League Cup winners. And the goal of any competition is to win it. Though Harry Kane has lifted plenty of individual goal-scoring awards for himself, it's been a while since the Lilywhites have won a trophy of their own. In other news, Confirmed: Klopp makes Cody Gakpo decision as Liverpool v Wolves lineups emerge, Austria 0-1 Scotland: Steve Clarkes men shine in Vienna to provide huge World Cup boost, https://yt3.ggpht.com/ytc/AKedOLRpbnizBpmuJLlXZxJQc24ygRz5Q44w3oO71XTL=s800-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj. A: A cheat. Ive only had him for like 20 months.. "Why I'm proud to be a Liverpool supporter. The first is a Manchester United supporter, the second an Arsenal supporter, and the third a Spurs supporter. ", Feeling the need to point out their trophies won, this fan messaged: "Last time I checked, 3 European Trophies, 2 League Titles, 8 FA Cups, 4 League Cups.". Alex is a freelance writer and a lifelong Tottenham Hotspur fan, who has been writing about his beloved club through thick and thin since 1996. The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Q: What is the difference between Tottenham Hotspur and a cup of tea? Juande Ramos' Tottenham team beat crosstown rivals Arsenal6-2 in the semi-final, earning them a clash against the Blues. Spurs haven't won a trophy since beating Chelsea in the 2008 League Cup final. Theres nothing to worry about, lad, said the elderly chap standing next to himIts like the bombs during the war.